Days 45 – 51 #100happydays

My sincere apologies. It has been one of the most shocking, traumatic and emotional weeks of my life. I won’t go into details as it is all too raw; I am fine, as is my family. A dear, dear friend is fighting for her life, and short of a miracle, it is a fight she may not win. My heart is bleeding for her and her family and the sense of helplessness and the futility of the situation is more than I can put into words.
To this end, this batch of #100happydays images is sometimes not so happy, but always heartfelt.

Happy, happy days xx #flare
Happy, happy days xx #flare
It has been a really tough day to find happy.  My heart is bleeding and the ache won't quit.  I am hopeful tho, and Bud will come back to us as she was before.  Oh, and Reggie started crawling today.
It has been a really tough day to find happy. My heart is bleeding and the ache won’t quit. I am hopeful tho, and Bud will come back to us as she was before. Oh, and Reggie started crawling today.

I am sorry this image was such a cop out.  Truth be told I couldn’t make myself post a solid black image – that is how bad this day was.  My life and the lives of so many others, changed irrevocably on this day.

My heart today.
My heart today.

Utter desolation.  Total devastation.  This day sucked.

Watching the concentration on Connie's face, building this tower, made me smile.  It was nice to smile again.
Watching the concentration on Connie’s face, building this tower, made me smile. It was nice to smile again.

And if you have little kids, life goes on regardless of your own personal traumas.  I am so very blessed to have Edie, Connie and Reg, pretty sure I would have been rocking mindlessly in a state of catatonia without them.  Go and tell your kids, your partner, your besties, that you love them and hug them – long and hard.  Do it now.

Very appreciative of life right now xxx.
Day 49 Very appreciative of life right now xxx.

Living in the moment and drinking in each and every thing I can with a quiet mindfulness.  Each action I undertake, no matter how little or mundane has taken on such enormous significance, that sometimes I struggle to maintain my composure.  I so desperately want this ‘everyday normal’ for my dear, dear friend.  I wish, I hope and yes, I pray, for Bud.  And Shaun and Brock and Jada.

Good company, good wine, good fire.  Happy days xx
Good company, good wine, good fire. Happy days xx

Each moment, regardless of how blisteringly happy it may be, is now tinged with sadness.  I managed a hour or two today, without being overwhelmed by the enormity of the tragedy unfolding in all our lives.  And those couple of hours, filled with nothing overtly special, were indeed some of the most special moments of my life.  And the kind of moments I wish with all my heart, that Bud may once again enjoy.

It's all about treasuring the everyday moments.  Spent the arvo over Wild Dog Hill at the Kelly Picnic Grounds.  Beautiful place, beautiful day, beautiful people.  Blessed. xx
It’s all about treasuring the everyday moments. Spent the arvo over Wild Dog Hill at the Kelly Picnic Grounds. Beautiful place, beautiful day, beautiful people. Blessed. xx

Goodnight, rest easy, tomorrow is another day.  Be kind, be grateful, be generous.

Carmen

 

3 thoughts on “Days 45 – 51 #100happydays”

  1. Hey Carmen, I think you have written this very well. It’s heartachingly sad, but the message is sadness. My thoughts and prayers to the universe are with you.

  2. Hi Carmen. I’ve been following your photos and thinking of how happy and beautiful they all look without any idea of what you were going through. Thoughts are with you. This was a powerful post. I’m off to hug some people now.

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