Sometimes, just as you need it most, the Universe delivers something so spectacularly beautiful, that it feels like the breath of life has just been breathed back into you.
Today, I received such a gift. A letter (of the old fashioned variety, complete with stamps and all) from a super nova of a friend.
She wrote me a list of what she perceives as my most wonderous traits and talents (completely overwhelming and so, so beautiful).
I needed that. I really, really did. How on earth did she know I’ve been hiding/trapped under my own big black cloud, unable to find the sunshine I so desperately crave. This chick gets me so completely and all the gorgeous words she had for me, I feel the same for her.
It has been about 2 months since the cloud descended upon me and there have been days that I have really struggled to cope. I have of course, coped, there are the 3 glorious kids romping and stomping about, demanding to be fed, clothed, entertained, a business to run and about a gazillion other things that need to be done, but let me tell you, it has been rough.
I won’t bang on about it, poor, poor pitiful me and all that, just to say it’s been and now, I think it is lifting. Oh sweet relief.
How do you thank someone, so completely, so wholeheartedly, for simply being themselves and being my friend?
Thank you Poss. I love you.
And weirdly enough, I spoke about my horrid few months, only this morning with some other of my dearest friends. They were quite suprised and shocked – why hadn’t I said anything, told them about it?
And why indeed! These are my nearest and dearest, I trust them implicitly. They do not judge, placate or offer unsolicited advice. They listen, they support, they love. I have excuses galore, it’s just easier to stay home, I’m too busy to get out and see people, blah, blah, blah. I have become quite the hermit and it is not good for me!
And so, I realise I am blessed, but selfish to hold everything inside, especially the bad and the ugly. True and wonderful friends are there through everything, if you let them.
So another heart-felt thank you to Mik and Mod. I love you both.
Do you know, I think I’ve realised something as I have written this; Friendships need to feel the whole gamut of emotions to be really truly special. If I don’t share the shitty bits with my friends, things become a bit shallow and it is lovely to feel needed once in a while.
I am Queen of Putting-Up-a-Great-Front, even with those I love most of all, and whilst it is a handy trick most of the time, there are times when it hurts. That very quiet, wee little voice inside of me, the one that I don’t even hear most of the time, needs to give me a good swift boot up the backside now and then to remind me that I am not a super-hero and am in fact only human (well, I do a mean imitation of SuperHero-ness at times ;-0).
So in a nutshell, I’m back, look out, on my way to bigger and brighter things. There is a totally Handmade Christmas in the making and a new addiction to crocheting with t-shirt yarn, sewing some fabulous crawler daks for Reggie, though he is at last walking, and I cannot wait to be my old-self again and share it all with you.
Til next time darlings, thank you for reading and I invite you to share your thoughts with me.