The End of an Era

Today I did it. I have taken the first tiny wee step into a brand new world.
I have smoked my last cigarette.
I am terrified of life without my treasured rollies, but I am far more terrified of not being around to see my darling kids grow into adults.
I stumbled upon an article written by the editor of the now defunct Notebook magazine, Caroline Roessler and her journey to quitting, a few days ago.
And something clicked. Finally. I have been attempting to find the courage to quit for a few weeks now, to no avail. One pouch of tobacco would end and another would begin, but no more. I am done.

Just needed to put it out there, to keep me accountable. All encouragement gratefully accepted.

My Loveliest Words…

Now I know there are loads of you out there that love words, big ones, little ones, tricky ones, rude ones and of course the obscure ones.

This is my list of currently adored words:

Dalliance – a brief love affair.  Kinda like me and running, several years ago.

Evoke – to suggest.  I find scents especially evocative.

Gambol – to skip or leap about joyfully.  Watching the kids gambolling about is one of my greatest pleasures.

Petrichor – the smell of the earth after rain.  Aah, this is just bliss.

Serendipity – finding something lovely, while looking for something else entirely.  And being present enough to recognise and appreciate the unexpected bonus the Universe has flung your way.

Flummoxed – in a bit of a confused flap and completely clueless as to what to do about it.  I think this may have perfectly described Yap’s state of mind, when home alone with the kids one evening, the two girls in bed when Reggie projectile vomited all over the couch, carpet and himself.  Oh how I snickered to myself when I got home and heard all about it!

Discombobulate – disconcert or confuse.  Again, describes Yap and the Projectile incident – somewhat discombobulated…

Diaphanous – sufficiently thin or airy as to be translucent.  Not a word that gets a run very often, but it does feel lovely on the tongue and has a magical sound.  And yes, you do need to say it out loud.

Panacea – a solution for all problems.  Black coffee and a cigarette – my panacea.

Fuck – marvellous word really, it can be whatever you need it to be.  I can often be heard to say “Fuckity, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck”  usually to express consternation at my own stupidity.  And my other favourite variation “Oh for fuck’s sake!”, when it all gets waaaaay out of hand and just too much for this black duck to bear 😉

And they, my lovelies, are my favourite words of the  moment. Please share with me yours, as words, especially lovely ones, do so make me happy.

Carmen xx

The darling Magpie, over at Magpie Diaries has inspired this post. Please pop over and find all sorts of wordy treasure.